Thursday, January 5, 2023

Man, last year flew by!

Reflecting on it, I can say my biggest regrets are the hurts I may have caused others. Yes, I’ve had my own share of getting hurt, but when I cause someone else pain, it feels so much worse for me. One thing I always try to remember is hurt people hurt people.

Earlier this year, one of my past hurts came back to haunt me, and I really considered dropping out of school. One of my classes was giving me such a hard time. I struggled through every assignment. A memory from junior high played over and over again each time I turned my computer on to do my schoolwork.

When I was in the 8th grade, a teacher told me I would never amount to anything, that I would always fail.

At the time, it didn’t bother me, but it stuck and continues to resurface in certain situations, like when I struggle on an assignment or get stuck on an everyday problem. I hear that voice in my head utter:

“You can’t.”

“You’re failing.”

“You'll never.”

Matthew 11:28
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

At times, the hurt takes control of everything.

And that is when I need to be careful not to hurt others. When the frustration of failing comes back to haunt me, sometimes I lash out. I say things that get completely misunderstood. So in a misguided attempt to avoid a bad situation, I retreat into myself, isolating myself from others. I figure, “Why not? I’ll just end up hurting them.” So I stay away, which in itself, hurts others.

Instead of hiding inside myself, I should run to God—that is where my help comes from, after all.

2 Corinthians 12:9
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

If I could give up my hurts to God and not take them back, my stress levels would go down and I’d be capable of helping myself and others more. Sometimes it's just easier to hold on to them. Those words resonate within me: “You can’t.” “You won’t.”

Recognizing what or who caused the hurt and forgiving them is how we are released from the control it still has over us. It is essential to achieving peace with God.

Without forgiveness it’s hard to hear God's words:

“You can.”

“I love you.”

We’re not meant to do life alone. We need life-giving people in our lives with whom we can share our hurts and hangups. I’m writing to my whole church family right now, which gives me a sense of peace, and I thank you all for that.

Questions:
What hurts are you still hanging on to? Have you talked to anyone about them?

Next Steps:
Talk to someone about one of your hurts so you can get it off your chest. Write it out like you’re writing a letter to God. Putting it into words and getting it off of your chest may be the first step you need to find peace.

Join a Group and surround yourself with life-giving people. The Winter Groups directory opens January 7, 2023.

Prayer:
Father, thank you for always being there for me when I need you most. I know that whenever I need help, I can turn to you. I know you love me and won’t fail me. Give me the confidence I need to show others the love you give me, even when I am frustrated and feel like I can’t. What I can’t do alone, I can do with you and those who are close to me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

This post was written by Casey Stengel. Casey is a follower of Christ, a dad, and an avid Chicago sports fan. When he’s not working, he enjoys spending time with family and friends. He works in recovery and loves to help people however he can. He is also working toward his Associate Degree in Biblical Studies.