Thursday, September 29, 2022

Are you or someone you love experiencing grief?

Understanding the grieving process can be a part of better mental health. As one article put it, “{As Christ-followers}, we intellectually know that because Jesus died and rose again death will have an end. But in the human experience of grief it’s hard to fully embrace that reality. Death hurts—a lot.” If you're still figuring out what a relationship with Jesus looks like, that's ok too. Death hurts a lot no matter where you are on the spiritual journey, and grief isn’t limited to the loss of a loved one. It can be a part of losing a relationship, financial loss, illness or injury and other life transitions.

No matter the reason, the process of grief typically includes 5 stages, and they don’t always happen in order:

• Shock/denial. Numbing or pretending it isn’t happening.
• Anger. Often hides the other emotions and pain.
• Depression. Feelings of sorrow, sadness, feeling foggy, heavy or confused.
• Bargaining. Creating ‘what if’ and ‘if only’ statements to hold off the painful emotions.
• Acceptance. More good days than bad, but having bad days will still happen.

Whether it’s you or someone you love experiencing grief:

1. Know and understand the stages.
2. Have grace for yourself, or for your loved one. 
3. Take every emotion honestly to God as much as you can. This may be the most difficult thing to do in some stages.
4. Consider setting up a time to grieve each day. Sometimes just knowing you can grieve helps.
5. Draw comfort from verses like Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Trust that you are never alone in your sorrow.

Resources:

Journey Through Grief https://www.chministries.org/blog/how-to-journey-through-grief/

C.S. Lewis, writer and theologian, shared thoughts on grief after losing his wife: https://gateway.redemptionaz.com/grief3/

Parents of Kids and Students: Show Up
Here are five manageable ways you can be there for your kid:

1) Show up before they ask you to. During the teenage years, your kid may talk to you less and less. But just because they don’t vocalize that they still need you doesn’t mean they don’t. Your kid, no matter their age, needs you just as much as they did when they were younger—maybe even more.

2) Show up for what matters to them. Pay attention to what is important to your kid and be willing to show up in their world. Make it about them, not you.

3) Show up even when it’s inconvenient. Showing up and being present for your kid doesn’t only happen in crisis moments. Some of the most impactful moments of showing up for your kid happen in the small moments too.

4) Show up often. Predictable experiences decrease a kid’s stress levels and help them develop self-confidence.

• Parents can be predictably available by:
• Creating a “conversation place”—a screen-free location that’s just for conversations, like family meal time, during car rides, or right before bed.
• Using the casual, unplanned moments to connect.
• Noticing the time of day when your kid is likely to talk and be available.

5) Show up undistracted. Be intentional about showing up physically, mentally, and emotionally without distractions. Distraction-free time allows parents to not only connect in a meaningful way, but also helps you monitor your kid’s emotional state.