Monday, October 7, 2024
Disappointment is the gap between expectation and reality.
John Maxwell
We have all been on the receiving end of these expressions during times of disappointment:
“Suck it up, buttercup.”
“Just deal with it.”
“Stop being sensitive.”
“Look on the bright side.”
Unfortunately, when it comes to our relationships, disappointment is a part of life. That gap between our expectations and the reality we face causes us to respond in a variety of ways:
- Ignore it
- Resent it
- Ruminate on it
- Escape from it
- Settle on it
How often have you felt like King Solomon in this verse?
Ecclesiastes 2:11
But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere.
I have definitely faced the disappointment of things not turning out how I expected, and it’s left me asking, “Does it really even matter?” Afterward, I ruminate on it, mentally kicking myself for failing or for not speaking up and advocating for change.
It’s so easy to stay in that head space and move down the list of responses to our disappointment, but there’s another option.
Jesus invites us to open our hearts to his transformative power so we can reflect his unconditional agape love into our relationships. And that love is not limited to our friends and family—we are called to love both our neighbors and our enemies (Matthew 5:43-45).
We have a choice between getting stuck in our disappointment or using it as an opportunity to show someone love, just like Jesus did. This is how we close the gap between our expectations and reality.
This does not mean allowing yourself to be in abusive or destructive relationships. Sometimes the loving thing to do is to separate yourself or put up boundaries. However, even healthy relationships won’t prevent disappointment.
How have you been responding when you find yourself disappointed with another person?
Whether you’ve ignored the situation or secretly seethed with resentment, let your mind spin-cycle about it, escaped in some way, or simply pretended everything was fine, these methods only offer meaningless solutions. But Jesus offers us a better way.
Agape!
Use your disappointment with someone as an opportunity to get curious and ask questions, then go the extra mile and love them in an unexpected way.
Bottom Line: You can make a disappointing relationship better with love.
Questions:
Who is someone in your life you need to agape?
When have you dealt with disappointment?
How do you respond to disappointment?
Next Steps:
Rather than implementing an unhealthy reaction to disappointment, try implementing one of the following:
- Create an action plan to get out of disappointment in a Christ-like fashion.
- Ask someone who has disappointed you a question to gain a better understanding around what happened.
- Complete the 30-day challenge of praying for someone who has disappointed you.
Prayer:
God, I pray that any disappointment in my life be used as an opportunity to love other people—with your agape kind of love. You see the reality I am facing, and I want to invite you into it. I give my disappointment to you. Help me to use it as an opportunity to learn, instead of responding negatively and feeling stuck. Amen.
Series Theme Verse:
John 16:33
"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
This post was written by Rebecca Roberts, a regular contributor to the LivingItOut Devotional.