Monday, September 19, 2022

Tick Tock, Dude! – Mixed Emotions

September 19, 2022/in Bible Study, Week 2

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The weekend message began with a question: What is your pet peeve?

Well, I married mine!

How was I to know that my devotion to on-time arrival was not at the top, or even in the top 10, of my husband’s priorities? I had been a Jesus-follower for about 3 years when Mike and I got married. God had already done a lot of work to help me resolve some of my issues. However, at some time, I must have prayed for patience … because God has used my husband to teach me a lot about that!

As a couple, we have had some “heated fellowship” about this lack of timeliness. After 25 years of marriage, I have, with God’s help, decided to accept the things I cannot change. This decision has seriously reduced my level of anger and resentment. I have to admit, I am not always so sanguine about this, but—thanks to the Holy Spirit, books on my phone, and the confidence of knowing that we will get there eventually—I don’t usually blow a gasket!

As we learned, emotions deserve a seat at the table, but they don’t get to boss everyone around. Look at what Paul says in Romans:

Romans 12:2

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

I think about how God has used this scripture to help me recognize my role as a people pleaser. I think about how anger has influenced my reactions to the thwarting of my will! Is this a control issue? Umm, yep–I think so! My anger is a signal, not a solution.

I have learned that I need to acknowledge my anger, because something I value has been violated. But what is that value? My need to be on time? Is my angst all about me?

If we take the time to drill down into what is really going on, we’ll find the cause. It’s our responsibility to take that time—to own our anger and decide if that emotion is valid. To search whether the basis of our anger might actually be the result of our own issues, instead of someone else’s.

I have spent more time than I’d like to admit in resentment and bitterness. God has helped me realize that this is a lack of gratitude for his immense blessings in my life. Maybe one of the blessings of old age is having a greater sense of perspective.

Regardless of what has made you angry, it comes down to this: How important is it?

Grab onto this question now and work at bringing it to mind in that time between your initial angry reaction and the 90 seconds it takes for your sensible brain to kick back in. This perspective will save you much heartache in your relationships and prevent countless apologies to those who bear the brunt of your ire.

James 1:19

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

I write this verse in almost every wedding card I send. (Advice to myself!) God’s wisdom is the best! He is inviting you to think differently about your anger. Since he is always the smartest guy in the room, you should probably pay attention!

Questions:

Where is God inviting you to think differently about your anger? How can you put yourself in an environment where you are reminded of the grace God has extended to you?

Next Steps:

Join a Group, where people will come to know you and walk with you as you encounter shared issues.

Join our text-in campaign “60 Days to Better Mental Health” by texting “better” to 419-419-0707. It runs through November 5.

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, there are times when anger is justified, but I realize that most of the times I get angry are not those times. Most of the time those bouts of anger are about me, because I’m not getting what I want. Lord, help me remove myself from this delusion and live in your truth. I am who you say I am. I don’t need to justify myself through my false anger over my offended feelings. You are the judge who judges justly. Let me rest in that truth. Please bring people into my life with whom I can be myself, who will know me and love me in spite of my crazy, often distorted emotions. Give them the courage to tell me the truth, and give me the courage to listen and act on that truth. Amen.